An open letter to the intruder in my home

All right -- I put up with you eating my food......

I cleaned up after your messes......

I didn't even protest when you started chewing on the edge of my kitchen cabinet -- it will be replaced soon enough..... (and besides, the dogs actually started that damage.....)

I didn't even get upset about you chewing a hole in the bag of wildflower seeds I never planted this spring (it got too hot for planting things, anyway.....)

You've been elusive enough to avoid all the methods I've employed to get you out of my home, humanely or otherwise...

But when you decided to start digging holes and nest in MY ORCHIDS......

That is WAR, my friend!!  You have crossed the line!!  Retreat or DIE!!!

~~~~~~~