Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A nice, big baby!!

Congratulations to my client, H, who gave birth to her third child (first daughter) last night.  This gorgeous "little" girl weighed in at a hefty 10 pounds, 12 ounces!!  Mom and baby are doing very well!!

Yes, the female body can do some pretty amazing things!!!


The most UNNECESSARY cesarean section ever

Just when I think I've heard all I can about unnecessary c-sections, along comes a story of a woman who was not even PREGNANT, and they tried to induce, then did a section on her.  Unreal.......  Yes, I understand this woman was dealing with a mental/emotional condition and may have truly thought she was pregnant -- but why couldn't the DOCTORS figure this out during the course of the supposed induction??

Doctors cited in handling of false pregnancy

Two Fayetteville gynecologists were issued public letters of concern by the North Carolina Medical Board after a woman who was not pregnant was induced for labor and given a cesarean section.

Dr. Dorrette Grant and Dr. Gerianne Geszler received the letters in January regarding a patient suffering from pseudocyesis, a disorder in which a patient has a false pregnancy that can be caused by emotional factors, tumors or an endocrine disorder.

The incident happened at Cape Fear Valley Medical Center in November 2008 when a woman exhibiting signs of pregnancy went to the hospital with her husband asking for a cesarean section, Geszler said Tuesday.
Geszler was the attending on-call supervisor at the time. A resident in her charge made the pregnancy diagnosis, Geszler said.

As a result, Grant attempted to perform a C-section on the patient after a failed attempt at inducing labor, the board letters said.

The letters said the resident did not have enough experience to make the diagnosis and that the board is concerned that Grant and Geszler's management of the situation had "fallen below the standard of care."
Dena Konkel, a spokeswoman for the Medical Board, said the letters to Grant and Geszler amount to a formal notice expressing the board's concern about a practitioner's conduct.

The two doctors will be allowed to continue practicing, with a warning from the board that similar complaints could lead to formal disciplinary proceedings, Konkel said.

Geszler said it is not uncommon to see women with false pregnancies, but she was surprised the resident was not able to make a correct determination after examining the patient.

"It wasn't something I thought I'd have to check behind somebody on," Geszler said. "The bottom line is the woman convinced everybody she was pregnant."

In pseudocyesis, a patient can have all the signs and symptoms of pregnancy, including abdominal and breast enlargement, nausea, food cravings and cessation of menstruation.

Some patients have even tested positive on pregnancy tests, experts have said.

Geszler said the hospital has instituted new guidelines for cases such as this.

"It will never happen again," she said.

Grant practices at Women's Health Haven Obstetrics & Gynecology, according to her profile on the Medical Board's Web site. She could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

Geszler practices at Breezewood Family Healthcare. At the time of the surgery, she was practicing at Women's Wellness Center.

Geszler said Tuesday she has since stopped practicing obstetrics and now focuses on anti-aging medicine at Breezewood's Center for Health and Restoration. Both doctors maintain their admitting privileges at Cape Fear Valley, according to the Medical Board's Web site.

No previous infractions were reported for either doctor on the board's Web site.
Staff writer Jennifer Calhoun can be reached at or 486-3595.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Something learned from today's science experiment......

..... avoid the energy drink called "Full Throttle"!!!

I've been helping in our homeschool group's anatomy class for the last 3 or 4 years. We repeat basically the same experiments each year with a new group of seventh and eighth graders.  However, today's lab experiment had a slightly different twist -- and a SCARY outcome!!

We used very small worms (Lumbriculus/California Blackworm) for this experiment. First, we would put the worm (in a drop or two of water) on a small piece of parafin to keep it from scooting away, and the kids would look closely at the worms with a magnifying class to observe and count the pulse of the worms. Then in the past, we added drops of something caffeinated (Pepsi, Mountain Dew, or something similar) to the drop of water. Then we would add drops of adrenalin to the water of other worms. The kids would count pulses again and compare what happened with each added substance. Obviously, the pulse would increase with the caffeine and REALLY increase with the adrenalin.

So this year, instead of soda, the teacher brought a can of Full Throttle to use. As I walked around the room adding drops of Full Throttle to each kid's experiment, I started hearing comments from the front of the room -- "Hey, my worm died"; "Hey, mine too"; "And my worm came apart"; "Man, my worm looks like it exploded!" -- and on and on and on.

Holy cow -- by the time we got to the adrenalin, pretty much all the worms in the first part of the experiment had gone on to that great worm farm in the sky! We have NEVER had an outcome like that before...... That's kind of scary!!

I never had any desire to drink highly caffeinated drinks in the past, and now -- ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I wonder what else that stuff might be doing to our bodies. I don't think I want to be the guinea pig that will find out!!!


Monday, March 22, 2010

Two babies and a nasty saleswoman!

My day in a nutshell.....

I got called to CH's birth shortly after midnight; this was a fast birth of a baby girl born at 1:45 am, weighing 8 lbs., 11 oz.  The whole thing would've been great if it hadn't been for normal hospital stupid policies......

While in postpartum with her, my cell phone went off again. This time, it was ES in labor. She was absolutely WAILING in the background. Said goodbye to C, turned on the GPS and headed over to the birth center. Arrived around 5 AM (???), baby girl born at 8:31 AM, 7 lbs., 11 oz.

E left the center at 11:40, we finished cleaning by 12:30!!! We were MOVING!!!

I got home around 1:15, picked up Mackenzie and headed to Columbia to go to a bridal shop. Morgan was SUPPOSED to call and make arrangements for us to go; unfortunately, she didn't do it. So I showed up there and was met by a VERY snooty, nasty saleswoman who wanted absolutely nothing to do with us because we didn't have an appointment. Now keep in mind this store has only been open three weeks and there was NOBODY in the store..... This gal couldn't be bothered at all to help us. In fact, she kept giving us the evil eye, as if we were there to steal all her dresses. Right -- like who can march out of a store with a bridal gown or bridesmaid dress hidden under their clothes????

Finally we left there and went to Morgan's friend's house to use the computer and see if there was another bridal store in the area we could check out.  Unfortunately, almost everything was closed on a Monday..... sigh again.....

I finally gave up, bought food at Boston Market, came home and ate dinner, and have done almost nothing since then. I'm basically killing time until it's late enough to go to bed.

Finishing up some paperwork and then time for some zzzzzzzzz's........ G'nite everyone!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"On the road again......"

.......... "just can't wait to get on the road again........"

With all due respects to Willie Nelson, I think I've been on the road ENOUGH today!!  I will be SOOOO glad when hubby is back home from Georgia and able to help some with running kids to and fro.  My day has been full of driving, driving and more driving.......

8:45 AM -- Drive Morgan to college -- 30 minutes, 15 miles

9:15 AM -- Stopped at Starbucks for a hot chocolate and a muffin; stopped at a gas station and filled up the car; and then.....

9:45 AM -- Hit the road again, this time to meet a client in Alexandria, Virginia -- 1 hour, 38.5 miles

Met with my client at the Starbucks in Alexandria, left there around 12:30 PM, and headed BACK to Columbia to pick up Morgan from school -- another hour of driving, 38.5 more miles on the car.

After picking her up, we headed back home, but needed to make stops at CVS and PetSmart on the way home, so there was another 50 minutes or so, plus 17 or 18 more miles.

Then this evening, we'd promised Bryanna we'd drive up to the restaurant she works at for dinner and let her wait on us........ 28 miles, 45 more minutes of driving....... and then a return trip home.  

Grand total for the day:  nearly FIVE HOURS in the car; 150+ miles on the car; one exhausted mom........

And as of today -- two overdue clients; two more due TODAY; one due TOMORROW; one due sometime next week.  I haven't looked at the April calendar in the last two days; I just can't even THINK about clients due then, even though technically some of them could be in the "birthing zone" as well!!!  I think SOME people need to have babies soon -- and a few need to WAIT!!!!  This could be a busy next week or so.....

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Idiot Sightings!

Another funny note sent to me by a friend -- enjoy!!
IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not... Four is larger than two..." We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change...  Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road... The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"  She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on...  A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less…

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door... As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .

IDIOT SIGHTINGS: When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!

They REPRODUCE.......... and they vote

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Doctors vs. guns

Just some silliness I thought some of you might get a kick out of, sent to me by an old friend....


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services)


Now think about this:


(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's
80 million)

(B) Accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

(Statistics courtesy of FBI)


So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.


Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."





Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban
doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!


Friday, March 5, 2010

Clean your computer screen!!

You probably don't clean your computer screen very often  -- and it is really hard to do the inside, -- so here is my present to you.

Click on the word "here" above and wait for a few seconds
and the inside of your screen will be cleaned for you!


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So, so, soooooo tired.........

Working as a birth assistant or a midwife is never easy under any circumstances -- long, unpredictable, irregular hours, limited sleep, births full of euphoria, births full of stress.  It's a constant whirlwind of driving, sleepless nights, and extremes in emotions.  It gets hard physically as I get older, and it makes me wonder how much longer I'll be able to do this job.

Just in the last five days:

Thursday AM, I was picking up carpool kids to go to our homeschool co-op (where I also co-teach two classes) when one of the midwives called and said we had a client in labor.  I told her I'd send my partner Lori, since Thursdays are a difficult day for me, and also because I already had a car full of children!!!  Just about the time I got to the co-op classes, the midwife called back and said, "I need somebody there now!!  She's starting to push!  Where are you?"  Fortunately, I was only about 10 miles or so away, so I dropped off the kids, called Lori and told her to head back home, I was taking this one!!  I arrived at 8:38 AM; the midwife arrived at 8:43 AM; the baby arrived at 8:47 AM!!!  Wow.........  followed by a hemorrhage and a baby who needed just a bit of help in getting started.  All really was fine, it just was a long, tiring morning.  And we still had violin lessons that afternoon and other errands to run..... a full, busy day.

Friday, I was supposed to take Morgan to college for her class.  However, she woke up with a migraine and decided to stay in bed.  Fine by me -- I needed some rest and a day without so much running around.  However, that changed when my hubby called in mid-afternoon, said there'd been a change in work schedules, and he would be flying in that evening from Georgia.  While it was nice to hear he was coming home, my house was a disaster, I had an already scheduled six-hour meeting with the midwives the next day (our annual training, OSHA review, practicing emergency drills, etc), plus I'd scheduled Morgan's appointment for the new hairdo -- AND Mackenzie was getting sick.  Didn't matter -- Nelson still wanted to come home.  So I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening cleaning house in preparation for his arrival.

His flight was supposed to leave Atlanta around 10 PM, arrive at BWI shortly before midnight.  However, it had been snowing heavily up north all day long, and the previous leg of his flight had originated in Pittsburgh.  His plane ended up leaving Atlanta nearly an hour and a half late.  There was no way I could sit up and wait for him -- I needed to get up at 7 AM for my meeting, and at this point, he probably wouldn't be arriving home until 1:30 or 2 AM.  When I woke in the AM, he was asleep.  I gave him a quick hug, said goodbye, and told him I'd see him in the evening.  I left for the meeting, came back in the late afternoon, swapped cars with him (got a quick hug!), and took Morgan for her 'do.  As I was coming back, I got a phone call from my partner -- we had TWO clients in labor and we both needed to get going..... sigh........ I got home, swapped cars with Nelson again, and apologized for all the craziness -- but what could I do about it?

The birth I went to turned out to be long, slow, tedious.  I arrived around 8 PM; the midwife, the student midwife and I took turns sitting with the client most of the night and trying to catch catnaps when it was our turn to rest.  I got very little rest, because I was trying to curl up and sleep on a small love seat!!

By mid-morning on Sunday, I knew there was no way I was going to be home before Nelson flew back to Georgia -- his flight was leaving at 1:30, and my client was nowhere close to birthing.  I had to call and regretfully tell him that I wouldn't get to see him, and I hoped he would have a safe flight back to Georgia.  He wasn't too pleased, but what could I do??  Plus Mackenzie was now home alone and getting sicker..... sigh......

My client's labor just kept stalling, and by late afternoon, the decision was made to transfer to the hospital.  The client, her husband, their extended family, the midwife and the student midwife all headed off to the hospital.  I stayed behind to clean the birth center -- a long job, mostly because I was exhausted at this point.

I couldn't sleep in Monday AM -- had to take Morgan to college, so I dropped her off and went to Costco to buy a few necessary items (mostly dog food!!) and do some pricing on possible wedding foods.  During this time, I got a call from the midwife that our client had finally birthed around 2:30 AM (Monday morning) and she'd had a TEN POUND, SEVEN OUNCE baby boy!!  Wow!!!  I also spoke with my client who'd birthed on Thursday about all the nursing troubles she was having.  I tried to offer her some ideas and suggestions -- I hope something will help.

I came back home, did some school work with a now very sick Mackenzie and tried to get some things done around the house.  Tired, tired, tired, moving too slowly.  I took a short nap in the evening, which was the wrong thing to do -- then I couldn't get to sleep at bedtime!!  I stayed up doing things around the house and finally told myself that this was ridiculous around 1:15 AM.  I NEEDED to be in bed.

So of course, what happened?  At 2:30 AM, one of the midwives called me.  She had another client in labor and the birth assistant was sick -- could I come help?  Uh...... yeah, sure, I guess.......... I'm DYING, but I guess that doesn't matter........!!  I drove all the way to Falls Church, VA (nearly 50 minutes non-rush hour) and by the time I arrived, the "labor" had slowed WAY down.  Thankfully, we only stayed a few hours before deciding this wasn't the real thing, and headed back home.  I arrived at 7 AM, and was able to sneak in quietly enough that I didn't disturb the dogs too much.  I just plopped on the sofa and went to sleep for two hours until the dogs and Mackenzie got up.  Later I slept about another hour, and right now, I'm so tired, I can barely see to type!!  I think I'm going to set Mackenzie up with some independent schoolwork and go take another nap......

And I'm back on call again at 10 PM -- pray for me!!!  Oh, to be 25 again.......!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

You dirty dog!!

The aftermath of all the snow -- a very muddy yard.  And of course, what else could POSSIBLY be more fun for Taylor to play in??

Muddy paws -- the height of doggy fashion in the winter!

They told me it was good for my complexion!

Surely you don't think I planned on tracking mud through the house, do you??  (gotta love that innocent look!!)

She'll make a beautiful bride!

Morgan had a very special date with Solomon on Saturdy, so we used the opportunity as an excuse to try out a hairdo she's considered using for her wedding.  We also brought her veil along to play with as well.  Here's some shots from our experiment! (I didn't realize until afterwards that my camera had somehow reset its date to 2006, but -- oh, well!!!)

Getting started --

The hair pulled up like that looks the the hairdo from "I Dream of Genie"!!

The nearly-finished 'do

Final touches --

Experimenting with the veil!

It'll be lovely!!